Woman vs Women

Posted on December 10, 2010. Filed under: Tips |

I’m trying to figure out the hidden complication between women and the dynamic roles children play in our lives.  We can be rather odd or completely  indifferent towards one another.  Depending on the environment, we’re pleasant, social, giggly butterflies towards one another or completely attitudinal. Why? We all have so much in common and so much to share. Over the last several years I’ve taken note on how we, as women, treat one another when we are with children, or without. It’s rather interesting. Let me share this story with you first.

A few months ago while shopping in a retail store I noticed a woman (very pretty, well put together) checking me out. Now, she wasn’t checking me out like “I’m interested.”  Her looks were of admiration.  She was silently approving my outfit ( I will admit she  caught me on a good day, I felt beautiful this particular day… there’s no doubt that it showed). Well, once I noticed her checking me out, I began to check her out. I noticed that her make-up was flawless and that she accessorizes well.  I was ready to compliment her. Only, when I looked up from staring at her shoes (a gorgeous pair of Christian Louboutin, no doubt), she caught me admiring her and the showdown began.  I began to smile (that normally eases the opponent). Only, when our eyes met, my smile began to fade as she gave me the “what are you looking at?” stare. My body instantly stiffened  and I kept my gaze focused while thinking,  “You were looking me up and down. Now that I’m looking at you, you throw the attitude? Hell, I was gonna smile and tell you that I liked your shoes.” I felt as if this went on for at least a minute or two but it was only seconds. She clicked her Louboutins once, maybe twice, and just like that she was gone. This showdown left me feeling away. I can go as far as saying that my feelings where a bit hurt.  I was preparing to compliment her. Why the showdown?  I started taking mental notes after this incident and noticed something very interesting.

When I am out with my children, women have no problem approaching me and giving me a compliment.  Whether they compliment the children themselves, an outfit I have on or my shoes, they seem free and easy when speaking to me. We, meaning women, single, married, engaged, or neither we are pleasant when  seeing other women with their children or even pregnant.  A pregnant woman can walk down the street and women will watch her with admiration, we smile warmly at her, sometimes asking “When are you due?”. We even go as far as to telling her how pretty she looks, we hold a conversation with her, at times, all the while making her feel wonderful and unconsciously allowing ourselves to be what we are… connected. It’s the same when we see a woman with a newborn, infant or toddler. We smile, we nod, we admire knowingly and willingly. Why doesn’t that happen when the children aren’t involved?

I ran into Mrs. Louboutin months later in the Gap store. I had my daughter with me and she and I had eye contact again. We instantly recognized one another and I felt my body preparing to tense up again. She stared at my daughter (in admiration), and just as I had  decided to ignore her  she slowly walked in our direction and said, “Your daughter is adorable.” Remembering our last encounter, I hesitated a second then thanked her. I couldn’t help but  look at her a little sideways. She understood as we women normally do. She, too, remembered our last encounter and, I’m guessing realized just how awkward this moment was. She gave me a half but warm smile and said, “Nice jacket.” I gave her my warmest smile, glanced down and said, “Gorgeous shoes.”

Help me out ladies we are so connected… why don’t we act like it? I have many encounters like the one I just wrote about. Unfortunately, not all of them end up with understanding and recognition of our silliness. Have any of you noticed the difference in the openness you received when or while you were pregnant, or when having your children around compared to being out by yourself?

I’m curious. Please share your thoughts with me. I’d love to see the majority, if not all, of us (women), warm towards one another. Wouldn’t you?

Thank you so much for taking the journey with me.

xoxo Journey Ward xoxo

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