Peek A Boo

Posted on October 27, 2010. Filed under: Parenting |

Years ago I caught Tim McGraw and his wife, Faith Hill, on the Oprah show. They candidly spoke on how they met, their careers and what life is like after having children, referring to their three little girls. Some how Oprah got them talking about their sexy time together. They mentioned places like the closet, the washroom, the bathroom etc… “How exciting, naughty, erotically whimsical, and fantastic!”  Here’s a couple uninhibited, willing and ready to be adventurous with one another. They didn’t allow their children to stop their fun time. I will admit that I was caught in what seemed to be excitement in Faith’s voice when she said, “We sneak in the closet,” then she let out a nervous giggle and Tim gently squeezed her hand. I thought to myself, “I wanna be like that after I have children!”

What I didn’t realize those many years ago, and what Faith and Tim failed to mention, was that after having children you don’t have a choice! You HAVE to get creative. Children are born with this uncanny radar that signals when it’s intimacy time between you and your husband/partner/boyfriend. The older they get the better they get, so beware.

After having two children I’d love to see that episode again. I took Faith’s nervous giggle as her being coy at the time. I now believe the truth of that giggle was Faith reminiscing on her and Tim getting caught in the act by one of their children.  I’m no detective, so I couldn’t tell you if they got caught in the bathroom, closet or washroom. What I can tell you is, they got caught. Once you’ve been caught, you recognize the twisted smile for what it is. It’s a specific ingredient that produces this type of  nervousness, the measurements are:

1tbsp of –  Oh shoot, she’s up.

2tsp of – Oh my gosh, oh my gosh

3/4  cup of – do you think he knows what we were doing?

3 cups of -Sheer embarrassment.

It’s what we do after being potentially caught that counts. As parents, we can usually play most things off…stay on your toes.

Before moving my now- toddler’s crib into her own bedroom, we kept her crib in our room for awhile. She was almost a year old  this particular time her father and I decided to have our own sexy time one afternoon while she napped. We snuggled together underneath the covers, whispering, giggling lightly while exhaling and inhaling those precious moments of being alone (and not exhausted). We seized our moment for intimacy. Four minutes into our moment our baby girl began to shift in her crib (the beginning of those uncanny signals alerting her). I put my index finger to my mouth and said, “shhh” to my love. Quietly we  resumed, but this time we put our heads under the covers as if this made us invisible and blocked out our sound and movement. “Shhh”, I said again. “I think I heard her tossing again.” We both peeked out from underneath the covers and were pleasantly reassured that our baby was fast asleep. Feeling relaxed we ventured on, abandoning all care, excited once more to be together. We blew caution to the wind feeling totally free and uninhibited until the wind suddenly blew back. Like two deer caught in the head lights, we froze. We both heard the sound this time and giggled…that measured nervous giggle that had us too afraid to take our heads out from underneath the sheets.

My mind suddenly wandered and I begin to think “How on earth do these baby powers work? Their timing is impeccable.” Quickly coming back to my senses I used my own mommy powers and did the only logical thing one does when her head is caught underneath the covers. I quickly pulled the covers down from over my head and yelled “Peek a Boo.”  I startled her and could see that she was the one who was caught off guard now. Again I put my head back under the covers gave my love a wink and then he popped out and yelled “Peek a Boo.” We could tell that she began to forget about the locomotive lumps she witnessed seconds ago. My love came back under and together we popped our heads out in unison just like a jack-in-the- box and sang out “Peek a Boo.” Our daughter fell out laughing! Whew!!!

Another useful game or child story to use is the three monkeys.  My love and I have loads of loving conversations, down time and disputes in the bathroom. It’s private right? That depends on how thick your walls are. I was recently told by my teen, “You know, I can hear everything you’re saying in your bathroom.” I instantly felt the nervous giggle creep on my face remembering the previous time spent in the bathroom with my love. Walking away was all I could do. I played the three monkeys (see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil). I instantly made a mental note,  no more monkeys jumping on the bed…at least not in the middle of the day while super ears (the teen) is home.

The lack of intimacy is another challenge no one  prepares you for while parenting. Who knew you had to be a skilled improvisation actor and parents using reverse psychology to have sexy time. So if  you’re having sexy time in the closet and your little one comes and finds you, I suggest you yell out “hide and seek, you found us. It’s your turn to hide, 1, 2, 3 ready or not here I come.” Peek a Boo works almost anywhere. If you’re in the washroom, perhaps sharing is caring and daddy is only helping mommy with the laundry. If we have to be creative anyway let’s go all out.  The key is to always understand and never underestimate your child’s secret power…the power to impede on sexy time every time.

Learn to make intimate time fun time for you and your spouse. I will admit that sometimes it’s a pain in the ass, but when you put the adventure hat on and play not only does it strengthen your union but it has the ability to put the spark back in your relationship.

Remember you’re clever, creative and an improvisational  master.  Who’s bed is it anyway?

Thanks for taking the journey.

xoxo Journey Ward xoxo

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3 Responses to “Peek A Boo”

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I love you Crystal. No one can tell the truth as honestly or with as much sincere humor as you do. Thanks for helping me to enjoy the journey!

Wow, how I remember when our kids were little and not so little. Now they run the other way if we are in the bedroom together at any time of the day or night. I love your humor taking me down memory lane.

Funny. Who can forget those moments.

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