Go The Extra Mile. Be Fabulous!

Posted on September 21, 2010. Filed under: Uncategorized |

After speaking to several woman and coming to the conclusion that I wasn’t alone. I decided to share this story with you in hopes of bringing you back to being, Simply Fabulous!

I’ve decided to try my best and go back to looking fabulous every time I step foot outside my door. I don’t always make it to fabulous but I’m really above decent these days.

My drive was sparked by a rude awakening that slapped me in the face one Saturday evening.  I decided to take the kids out to dinner, just us. My love had to work this particular Saturday and I was really enjoying the kids.  I told my oldest to get dressed and to look his best (aka – no basketball shorts), we were going to dinner.  He did well! He surprised me by wearing a powder blue button down shirt that I’d  been asking him to wear for months.  His jeans were actually up on his waist instead of trying to droop down below his butt and he sported a belt. Wow!  As I watched him begin to wipe down his sneakers I decided to get my daughter dressed.  She wore the cutest  red and white dress with ruffled socks, a pair of Mary Jane shoes and I put her hair up in two curly puffs. ADORABLE!!!

I took one last look at them, smiled in delight then allowed them to lead the way to the car while I walked slowly behind them admiring their cuteness and growth. It was one of those unexpected proud moments.

We laughed and they sang while I mumbled all  the words to the songs we (I) thought we knew on the radio until we reached one of my favorite Thai restaurants.  I was feeling so good! I even valet the car.  The valet youngster gently grabbed my hand and helped me exit the car and told me to enjoy my evening (a clear reminder that I still had it)!  As the kids and I walked towards the entrance,  I caught a glimpse of myself (I think that was me) in the reflection of the window on our way toward the entrance. I damned, near tripped into my son staring at that reflection. If that was really me in that reflection then what, exactly was it, I had?  Hmmm… I’m not feeling so good at the moment.

As we were seated, I asked my son to watch his sister as I quickly made an exit to the bathroom. I smiled politely at the woman washing her hands and pretended to use the bathroom by ducking into the nearest stall. I even went through the motion and squatted as I waited for her to disappear. I slowly opened the bathroom door after hearing the main door close, I peeked around to make sure I was in the bathroom alone before I looked in the mirror. And that’s when  I saw her, I mean, that’s when I saw ME. It really was ME in that reflection. No wonder I almost  tripped over my son. What happened to me?

I reached my left hand to my face and just stood there for a second. I unconsciously gave my head a tilt and felt as if I was  seeing myself for the very first time.  My eyebrows instantly furrowed as I touched my bushy eyebrows.  Holy Cow! I’m a mess! I had completely forgotten to get myself dressed. My hair was propped up on my head in a very loose bun (not cute loose, sloppy loose). I wore no make-up and found myself frantically searching inside my bag for lip gloss. Burt’s Bees was all I came up with. Not even the lip gloss type, the chap stick type. I began putting that on when I  noticed the toothpaste stain on my tee-shirt. I backed away from the mirror just a bit and got a sight of my sweat pants, very unflattering. I held my hand to my chest and took in two deep breaths (in the words of Fred Sanford, “This is the big one”.) My heart attack was interrupted (thank heavens) when the main bathroom door opened and another woman entered.  I swore she looked me up and down (mind you, I’m a bit paranoid at this point) but she gave me a very warm smile. I managed to smile back.  I quickly brushed over my clothes, washed my hands and got the hell outta there before she could say one word to me, she looked like the talkative type.

I don’t remember walking back to the table but my daughter asked me if she could organize the sugars like before snapped me out of my daze. When I came to focus, both my kids were smiling and really enjoying themselves. That calmed me down a bit but my mind was racing. I took hold of the menu to distract myself  and made it half way down the menu when I noticed my un-manicured nails. When had I last gotten a mani and pedi? When had I last seen my  hairdresser? Or gotten my eyebrows shaped? Why did I still have on sweat pants and a tee-shirt with a very noticeable toothpaste stain on it? When had I last looked at myself?  Come to think of it, when had I last even heard my first name called out loud?  I’m normally “such and such’s mother.”

That Saturday night was a harsh reality call but one of the best things that could have happened to me. It wasn’t that I had forgotten to dress myself that night.  I had forgotten about ME period.  I’d become so wrapped up in the kids (and I was a stay-at-home mom for the first 19 months of my daughter’s birth) that preparing everything for the kids is what I did. Very rarely did I make the time to get myself dressed. If I wasn’t going to play dates with the little one, reading time, Gymboree time. I was going to basketball practice or simply being my teen’s chauffeur.

I made it through dinner and  stayed in the moment with my kids. I couldn’t take those smiles away from them that night.  But I made a vow to myself that night would be the very last night I forget about “Journey”.   Every time I step outside these days I am  as close to Fabulous as can be. Even my decent is 100%  better than the way I looked that night (and how ever many other nights).

MY MANTRA: GO THE EXTRA MILE! (Explanation – as mothers we go the extra mile for everyone else but ourselves. It makes such a difference in their lives and an even stronger difference within our own lives. Get up a bit earlier to put on your make-up, or properly do your hair. IT’S WORTH IT! YOU’RE WORTH IT!)

Get rid of unflattering clothing. Sweat pants are usually one of them.  Unless you’ve been seriously working out in the gym, that’s about the only time you should be wearing gym clothes. I’m certain I don’t need to say this but I will. Tee-shirts with stains should now be used as cleaning rags.

A Mani & Pedi always make a woman feel good. Make the time for one at least once a month.  Invest in nail polish. It only takes a few minutes to put a fresh coat on… during nap time perhaps.

One of my favorite books in the world is “Women Who Run With the Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.  In stating that, my eyebrows should NOT reflect the title of the book.  Depending on how fast your eyebrows grow, normally keeping tweezers around makes it easy to clean them up yourself.  It’s worth it. Go the extra mile!

Last but not least. I need you to understand and believe just how FABULOUS you are!!! You are gorgeous, appealing, smart, warm with massive sex appeal and yes, you’re a mom to top it all off!  That spells FABULOUS!!! So please GO THE EXTRA MILE!!

Thanks for listening,

xoxo Journey xoxo


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19 Responses to “Go The Extra Mile. Be Fabulous!”

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So true! So important not to forget about ourselves as we go around worrying about EVERYONE else!

Loved reading this…I look forward to more and how funny is that story. Well at least your kids looked well taken care of. LOL

Great job girlie!! Let it out!

Can’t wait to read more.

OMG, thank you so much – this made my day – VERY INSPIRING!! And very much needed!!! I myself realized that I was still wearing slippers the other day when already in the car driving my dressed/fed/brushed, etc. kids to their schools – unacceptable!!! Like my ex boss/mentor used to say: YOU are number ONE, take care of yourself first so that you can take care of all around you”.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

First things first, Crystal to most if not all of us you will always be “FABULOUS”. But i do get it. Maybe you can give me some advice my girl and i work everyday we both make ourselves ready for work but when we get home i try to look my best for her. But when she get home she goes straight for the tee shirt and sweats . What am i suppose to do i would like to see her dress for me. I take her out ,i keep my house in order .I would like to see that woman i met years ago. What can i do if any thing? Sorry did not want to get off your topic but i would like a fabulous moment when she’s with me not just when she get ready for work.
Thank you.

Hey Thaddaeus,

I want to thank you for visiting my site. It means a lot to me.

I thought long and hard on how to properly answer your question. Its one that many men have, my love being one of them. But it’s also a very sensitive and delicate topic for us(women). The great news is “yes” something can be done. After re-visiting your question all afternoon I realized their is no proper answer. Hopefully I can explain a few things and throw out some suggestion that may work for you and your wife.

For starters, HOME is our safe haven. Home is where we can unveil without judgment from the rest of the world. It feels amazing to be able to unmask and show our real beauty (which has flaws) with a man (partner) who love us from within. Besides extreme fatigue it’s one of the reason we come home and throw on the most comfortable worn out pieces of clothing. We feel safe. That safety is what makes this topic from our husbands, boyfriends, loves, partners such a touchy situation. It feels like judgment when you question our appearance, which comes across as you questioning our beauty.

A safer and more productive way in achieving the result your looking for is helping your wife eliminate some of her chores so to speak. You have children which means both of you rarely get time to yourself. You may possibly get just a bit more time alone then she does (I don’t know – of course) As women, we are skilled multi- taskers. So amazing that we get caught up and forget about our own needs (hint: Go the extra mile. Be Fabulous). If you can eliminate some chores for her, it will free her mind up to simply relax a bit. By relaxing without worry (on what’s not getting done), she’s able to rejuvenate herself. When this happens, we’re able to feel good within, in feeling good we automatically start putting our pieces together to reflect outwardly. Make sense?

A few suggestions:

1. Laundry is a big pain in the botox. Do you have a washer and dryer in house? If so, make sure all the laundry is done for her (without her having to ask for help). If you have to attend a laundromat then go the extra mile and out source. Spend on a wash and fold. If you haven’t heard of this, it’s a laundromat that offers a drop off service. They go by the pound of the clothes. You simply drop your clothes off in the morning and pick them up on your way home. It’s a great way to eliminate a timely chore and gives the two of you that one in a half or two hours together.
2. Surprise her with hiring a cleaning lady to come in one day while she’s at work or on a Saturday morning, while you and the family go out to breakfast or the park. I can tell you from experience that there is nothing better then coming home to a clean house that you didn’t have to clean.
3. Every married couple with kids should pick an evening as often as you can for date night. Call up a family member or a sitter to watch the kids a few hours in the evening while the two of you have a night out on the town. It’s worth it!
4. We all get caught going with the flow instead of living. In some instances going with the flow is wonderful, but not in this case. Feelings need to be sparked. Shake things up a bit and do something spontaneous with her.

I know that most of these suggestions cost money. But it doesn’t have to be a lot of money spent. Get creative! and most importantly help her free her mind with all the worry she has on completing her “to do list”.

I hope this helps. You can always email me at AJourney2tell@gmail.com to talk further. The fact that you’ve reached out for suggestions says a lot about you as a husband. Most of the time we all have to go the extra mile. Send her to this post, she’ll be able to relate.

Good luck my friend,
xoxo Journey xoxo

I just recently gotten married and that is what my husband told me. He was nice about it, and he just said I like for you to look good even on the weekends. So maybe if you tell her, (it will hurt, but only for a moment), I think that would help and she may surprise you when you get home from work. Have a bless weekend!

All I can say, I may not have children BUT I am in an industry that Being ON is key and I recently had a WtF moment abt how I looked!! Then reading this made me laugh soo hard because I realize no matter who you are w/so much “goings on” WE HAVE TO KEEP UP THE FAB..Journey thank U for penning this ONE!!!

I love this! I love the honesty and the emphasis on quality in all aspects of a mother’s life…

You are totally right Crystal. I totally need to travel that extra mile these days. Thanks for the inspiration 🙂

Even though I’m not a mother yet still wanted to show my support and read this blog…I love you and in my eyes you will always be a beautiful woman…what a great inspiration this is for all mothers! I will be sure to keep this story in mind when I do become a mother and I will be sure to stay Fab!

It’s so true that women who have families tend to loose themselves over time. It is important that we take time out to take care of us, while still being Superwoman. Lol! That was a good one too.

I like this story because you are completely right. When I met you, I always looked at you as wow she is always put together and looks great. So I wanted to let you know I constantly try to look my best. People definitely notice more when you put yourself together and you are a mom. Mascara and lip gloss a girls best friend. Love, Love the stories…cute. Miss you guys more when I read them though.

I love your writing and keep up the good work….. And I know about the sweats and tee shirts….. LOL LOL I am trying to look fab and trying to keep my nails done too…….

Wow! I absolutely am amazed of your ability to write! A great story makes you check yourself, laugh and by the end you feel rejuvenated and inspired. Bravo! Can’t wait for more!

Wow I absolutely loved this! Your story writing & attention to detail was awesome. I look forward to reading more:)

Wow I can visualize everything you are saying its like I was there lol

This is the beginning of a movie! I have been here so many times. This is my inspiration to do better. Think I will get my eyebrows done today. Pretending to use the bathroom was hilarious.

Wow…I really needed to read this one! I’m going to start working on getting back to being fabulous…I always talk about it, but it’s definitely something that you have to make an effort for. I am loving these blogs!! Thanks Crystal for sharing! So many words of wisdom!

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