SUPERWOMAN

Posted on September 17, 2010. Filed under: Parenting |

I’d really like to take the S off my chest just for a moment.  I adored Super Woman as a child and remember quite a few episodes. So help me out here, refresh my memory, was there ever an episode where  Super Woman just broke down and cried? She was saving the world and barely got any sleep. This you and I can relate to. But if she never cried during one episode, then I’d like to take the S off my chest for today. Take it off just for a few hours. I’ll even take one hour.

Whether you’re a mom like myself who has spread her children apart (13 years to be exact; a 15 yr old and a toddler), had them back to back, two to three years apart, or you only have one, please take a moment to take the S off  your chest and simply breathe. Take a moment to remember who you are. Feel what you want and need to feel.  More importantly find a way to express it. I’ll go first. Winking smile

I allowed my feelings to get hurt because, well, because I swallowed too much crap yesterday. Let’s press rewind for a moment:

I was so excited! Finally we found an event that our whole family could enjoy. We we’re headed to the Los Angeles County Fair. I told my teenage son  he was allowed to bring a friend (to which he declined – OK, fine). This would be my daughter’s first big fair. My love and I could stroll hand in hand, ride the rides and bring out the teen in each other. We discussed our game plan and the best way to move (get everyone fed and dressed, discuss our budget, buy tickets online and move out, which can be a very timely task). Great! Right? Hmmm, perhaps we should have explained our game plan to the kids.

My teen waited until the very last minute to announce that he actually did invite one of his best friends to come along. Instead of getting into a debate about the incredible late notice, that came along with, “Can we pick him up?” (mind you he lives in the total opposite direction). I decide to swallow the slight annoyance and re-budget quickly in my head.  Done! Let’s move forward, we’re going to the fair!

My love gets our daughter ready to the best of his ability (and he’s pretty good), leaving her hair for me to do while I hop in the shower (besides the little switch in our plan, we’re on time). I shower peacefully, get out and put on my smell goods (this fair is for my love and I as much as it is for the kids) and get dressed. Now that I’m all sorted let me get a hold of that little one and get her hair ready, STOP!!! I’m rolling too fast and too smooth obviously, because the toddler (yes, I called her the toddler) pulls a 2 1/2 -year- old trick out of her bag and screams to the top of her lungs. Okay, we all know about the terrible two’s.  My question is; why do we call it “the terrible two’s” when it starts (for some) earlier than two and lasts for more than a year? Back to the story. Now guys, I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that she screamed so loud and hard you’d swear I abused her.  I hadn’t even touched her head, I simply held the brush in my right hand. Daddy comes running in (of course, his Princess is in distress) to the rescue and I will admit he really tries to help me the best he can. He offers her tons of options then finally says “use your words” (apparently I was to pissed at this point to even think of saying use your words).  She sniffles for a few more seconds and says” I want daddy to do my hair“. REALLY, KID!!! There’s nothing confusing about my feelings… now I’m pissed! For starters, couldn’t she have just said that (no, she’s two and a half)? The real kicker is that I was looking forward to doing her hair. Ever since I returned to the work  force (I’ll blog about that later),  I don’t get the chance to dress her or do her hair in the morning. But okay, I put my own feelings in check and swallow my disappointment. Let’s continue moving forward. We’re running late but it’s okay. We’re going to the fair!

All aboard!!! We are (finally) ready to move out. My little one should be ready to knock out in the car. We planned her nap time around the car drive to the fair. She’ll get a solid hour of sleep.  Wait! Am I delirious? I haven’t been back to work this long! I could have sworn… no, I know her nap time is now… WRONG!!! She sang every Barney, Yo Gabba Gabba and nursery rhyme song to the top of her lungs all the way there.  I mean the entire hour.

NOTE TO SELF: My teen’s constant complaints about me not being cool, our house being boring and me possibly embarrassing him don’t hold that much weight anymore. Well, the last one about me embarrassing him may hold some weight. His face was completely red and disturbed the whole hour’s ride to the fair as he sat sandwiched in between his best friend and his sister in her car seat. He mumbled loudly a few times, “This is why I don’t invite anyone over.” It was a bitter-sweet moment. I felt horrible for him but enjoyed my daughter’s singing for the first non- stop 15 minutes. By the last 45 minutes I’d swallowed more Barney and DJ Lance songs then I care to discuss.  She had the nerve to fall asleep the moment we exited our exit. My smile is frozen in place, trying to keep my cool but damn it, we’re almost to the fair!

We park the car and begin gathering our things. I un-freeze my smile and try to breathe a bit when my love walks around to my side of the car and says, “Should I be getting the stroller out now?” My smile stiffly widens a bit and I reply, “When else are you going to get it?”. Okay,okay I know, I know. That response should have been one that stayed inside my head. It was what I was feeling and I decided to let it out but perhaps something like a simple “yes” or “now would be perfect babe” or even “good thinking my love” would have been a better and more positive  answer (after all, he endured the singing, too). But the all-too-powerful Super Woman in me really thought, “What a dumb ass question. Isn’t that why we brought the stroller with us? Yes, Hello, get the stroller out, she’s asleep.” Clearly, my Super Woman power thoughts came out in my one sentence of, “When else are you going to get it?” As usual, we Super Women are stronger than we ever give ourselves credit for. Who knew or realized my tongue in that moment was a whip. It stung him hard and still he tried his best to be helpful again by arranging her stroller right by my side. The only problem was the damn stroller was so close to my door I couldn’t maneuver to get her out without falling. I couldn’t simply move the stroller because he put the wheel locks on.  Instantly, without me even realizing it, my Super Woman powers come out once more. I quickly stared him in the eye and shocked him with the laser in my right eye (I’m guessing the laser is in the right eye – just a guess).  It means multiple things, of course. “You’re f’ing up and getting on my damn nerves” is one of them.  My actions were so fast and applied without any conscious thought, I barely realized that I shocked him at all. “Argghhh, can you help me move the stroller?” He tries giving me the same stare, only he doesn’t posses the same powers, so it doesn’t work. He resorts to demanding “What’s the problem? Did I do something to you? Is there a problem, because you’re being real curt with me. What did I do wrong?”.  I answer him again and this time my Super Woman powers realize that I must defuse the funk and so I reply, “I’m fine, nothing is wrong with me at all. Maybe you’re just being really sensitive.” Okay, did I defuse the funk or add to it?  Don’t answer that.

I swallow the noticeable tension and decide that if he could see that I really was fine, then he would be fine too. WRONG! His world had completely stopped for a moment. He was no longer at the LA County Fair. I, on the other hand, had let off some steam  and felt great!  So I’m pressing on. By the time my teen and his friend  get on the first ride, my love and I get into a slight argument over my invisible powers. This was  7 minutes into the fair. He expressed that I chewed him up for no  reason, shot him a look of disgust and followed it up with an insult, he’s sensitive. Ouuu wee, had I done all that?  I calmed him down, swallowed my Super Woman pride and made up.  We’re at the fair. Let’s have fun.

We did have fun at the fair but by the end of the night I’m tired, no exhausted it’s a quarter to twelve and I have gobbled every edible treat at the damn fair not to mentioned swallowed a bunch of shit (earmuffs) before the fair. At this point all I want to do is go home, regurgitate and sleep. Once we arrive home I try my best to make it into bed before my love begins to think that I have mustered up some energy (Super Woman is worn out). Sex, XXX  we will NOT be having tonight.

That was yesterday. Which is why today I’d like to take the S off my chest for a little while.  I explained to my love, once he arises from his sleep at twelve in the afternoon (I, of course, get out of bed to feed the cats at 6 a.m. then again at 8 a.m when I hear my daughter whispering, “Mommy are you still sleeping?” as she pokes me in my laser eye aka the right eye),that today I need some alone time. I can feel him tensing up. He doesn’t understand what alone time really means. So I explain that I simply need a few hours to myself to regroup from yesterday’s outing. He hesitantly gets our little one, gets her dressed and announces that they’re going to the park. My teen and his friend aren’t even up yet so I go into my bedroom, lock my door, look at myself in the mirror, exhale, then gently take the S off my chest (I feel the weight instantly removed), and place it gently on the pillow next to me. I reach for a novel I’ve tried to read for months and enthrall myself in this fantasy until I’m knocked out. I was able to take a nap (can you believe it?) in the middle of this beautiful  afternoon with no interruptions for two whole hours. That was the sleep I needed, and talking to you was the regurgitation I needed to rejuvenate. Oh, and let’s not forget I took the S off to rest as well!

In a minute or two I’ll take a nice long shower or maybe a bubble bath. I’ll shed a few tears as I allow the warm water to trickle down my body. I’ll finally RELEASE! I find that when the S is on my chest I rarely release. I take on everything and all that I feel I should take on due to guilt or the infamous MOTHERLY DUTIES!  Not now. These precious few hours are MINE! I’m allowing myself to just BE!  Feels good!

So in a little while I’ll gently awake the S (she deserved the rest, she does a damn good job) and place her back on my chest. We will pray, laugh and love before we unlock the bedroom door. Then it’s back to enhancing the world, taking care of one family at a time.

Thanks for listening,
xoxo Journey xoxo

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22 Responses to “SUPERWOMAN”

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Wow….. Super Woman I had no idea women feel or go through this you got me hooked I will be tuning in to see the updates I don’t have a super woman in my life yet but through I will know and knowing is half the battle Ciao

Although my journey as mom began 11 months ago, I can totally relate to your story. Loved reading your story Keep em’ coming. 🙂

Hello Ismael’s Mom,

Thank you for commenting and subscribing. You will receive the next part of our Journey this coming Wednesday. Feel free to comment or discuss topics on your mind in regards to parenting or just being a mom.

Thank you for being one of the first for holding hands and taking this journey together.

Sincerely,
xoxo Journey xoxo

Hey Crystal SUPERMOM! Loved your journal – look forward to reading more – I take note the 13 year span between siblings (took alot of courage and love) – you were SuperMom then and just restarted, or better yet, continued with my beautiful little “nieta”.

Buela!!!

I love receiving anything from you!! Believe me when I tell you that watching your love and support as a mom encourages me daily. I’ve learned tons from you. Your daugther and I have had many dicussions on how we can immulate a lot of your teachings (along with my moms) for our children.

Thank you so much for checking in and taking the Journey.

With love always,
xoxo Journey xoxo

I love it! I would have had to muster up some energy for some nookie though! 🙂 J/K (ish)

Hello my new mother to be,

Once you give birth we’ll have this dicussion again. I’m curious to see if your thoughts and energy will have changed. I can almost answer the question myself, but ooh what fun it will to re visit this.

Your on such a beautiful discovery and journey of your own. I’m anxious to walk with you and I thank you for walking with me.

With love,
xoxo Journey xoxo

We all need to shed the S off our chest from time to time. It’s a learning process DAILY to know how strong “our powers” really are when in a relationship… when do we turn them off and on. Cant wait for the next. Thanks Journey!!

Hi Danie,

You brought up a great question, when do we turn them on and off? I find that some times they’re on and I don’t even realize it. I’ll have to open this one up for discussion. Thank you for that. Stay tuned and as always, thank you for taking the journey with me.

xoxo Journey xoxo

OHHHH!!! Girl. This was funny, engaging and totally relateable. I will be tuning in.

Hey MyMydavis,

Thank you for tuning in. I’ve got more in store and can’t wait to share. I soooo appreciate you journing with me!!

Nothing but love sent your way,

xoxo Journey xoxo

Love love all of the beautiful word’s that you shared with us:) Thanks!!! Xoxoxo m

Hi Michelle,

Thank you for taking the time to out to journey with me. I appreciate it! Stay tuned!!

With love,
xoxo Journey xoxo

This made my day!!! I laughed so hard and tears are running down my face……..This is so good and I or should I say we need more…….. Not a mom, but I can related with nieces and my nephew, but then again they get to go home to their parents…. I love your daughter singing all the way there….LOL

should have said “relate”

What a great first blog, I truly appreciated it and could totally totally totally relate!!! As mothers, women, wives we really do need to sometimes take the S off our chest & just BE! Great job Journey “I hear you”!

OMG, thank you so much – this made my day – VERY INSPIRING!! And very much needed!!! I myself realized that I was still wearing slippers the other day when already in the car driving my dressed/fed/brushed, etc. kids to their schools – unacceptable!!! Like my ex boss/mentor used to say: YOU are number ONE, take care of yourself first so that you can take care of all around you”.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

These men and children make it hard to take the S off. Sometimes they can be big babies. It feels like they are sons and we have to be mothers to them. I can totally relate to this. Keep them coming Crystal.

Wow, I am blown away. You nailed it, I definitely feel this way all the time and especially after adding a second child to it. We all need some time out once in a while and I notice if you have that it makes a world of difference.
On an other note, you are an amazing writer.

I didn’t need to be a Woman to relate to this story. I laughed-HARD-!
You are FUNNY!
I wanted to cry at times too.
I loved your description

Although I am not a mother, I can appreciate the Mother spirit, and all that Mothers do. I have enough Mommy friends, and a Mother to know that you all need more then just one days recognition.

I’m glad you had that time to re-energize and re-group. Its vital that Mothers remember to take care of themselves too!!

Great Read!

Xoxo

I retired my SuperWoman cape over a year ago when I got married. However, I realized that I came out of retirement when I got pregnant with my 2nd child after 13 years. I can definitely relate. I enjoyed reading your blog. Keep ’em coming.


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